1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls.
2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.
10. Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.
11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.
12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment with, and approach to the hole.
13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.
14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owners request (Course time is Four to Five Hours).
15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
You might recall that last summer I went north of Lake Superior and had a blast! This summer I intend to visit places south of me in the U.S. I will leave sometime this week(maybe Tuesday) with a biker bud and make a run for Wilmington Delaware in one day. Then we intend to drift down the coastline to Florida....over the course of a week...stay in Florida for for a few days then head back up the Midwest to home. Any suggestions for things/places I MUST see?
... was a record setting party! Approx. 25000 bikes showed up with a total crowd surpassing 150,000. It will be placed in the Guiness Book of Records.......as the largest attendance by bikes in any one place in one day. It was a blast!!!
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.
Here are some facts about the 1500's : These are interesting.
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May,and still smelled pretty good by June.
However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies.
By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water..
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying. It's raining cats and dogs.
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, Dirt poor.
The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a thresh hold.
(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.
Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day.
Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was asign of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon. They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous. Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the roadwould take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave.
When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the ....graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.!
And that's the truth... Now, whoever said History was boring ! ! !
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS 40-ish..............................49 Adventurous.....................Slept with all your friends Athletic............................No boobs Average looking.................Ugly Beautiful...........................Pathological liar Contagious Smile................Does a lot of pills Emotionally secure..............On medication Feminist............................Fat Free spirit..........................Junkie Friendship first...................Former slut Fun..................................Annoying Gentle..............................Dull New Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places Open-minded.....................Desperate Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing Passionate........................Sloppy drunk Poet.................................Depressive Professional.......................Bitch Romantic...........................Frigid Voluptuous........................Very Fat Large frame.......................Hugely Fat Wants Soul mate................Stalker Widow..............................Murderer
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = you're in trouble 7. Sure, go ahead = you better not 8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later 9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron! 10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 3. I am tired = I am tired 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 5. I love you = let's have sex now 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you 11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
And finally.....
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
I know this has been done before but I need to burn a few songs for a CD for upcoming bike trips. I think it was done last year but I didn't pay attention cuz at that time my bike didn't have a CD player. That has changed. What is your favourite heading down the road song....one you love to hear as you cruise the highway?????????
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of whic h way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $500 0. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.. !
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
wasn't going to...but I did it!!! I bought a 2003 anniversary special edition Electra Glide Classic. Time to sell the Nomad. Personally, I think from a purely technical point of view...the Nomad is a better bike. Definitely not trying to awaken, once again, the debate re: harley vs. metric.... cuz everyone will have their own opinion. But........there's just something about a harley......
Okay so O.J. dies one day (finally!!!!) and he immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
'I don't know what to do here,' says the devil. 'You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves.'
OJ thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dove in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.
'No,' OJ said. 'I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do that all day long.'
The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
'No, this is no good; I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day,' commented OJ.
The devil opened a third door. Through it, OJ saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
OJ looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, 'Yeah man, I can handle this.'
Ok...I am hardly a prude ..not even close...but I have been to several bike rallies that are considered "big".........I have never seen one like Fowlerville. Here is my question.............why are women such incredible exhibitionists? They were many many women who were nekked or near nekked in the campground parade on Friday night.....no men (at least that I saw). Most women who were asked to flash em....did without skipping a beat...but when a few tried to barter with the guys for fair exchange they were turned down flat. So..........here's my question...what is it in the makeup of women(not generalizing and saying all women here) that is in fact far more liberal than men? If Fowlerville is a fair representation of things.....why is it that when women "cut loose" they really do so in a far greater way then men??? Is it societal suppression in most walks of life that causes them to totally relax in an atmosphere where it is allowed or even expected? I am not just talking hooter flashes and those who attended will know exactly what I mean.....Or....maybe I am missing something here..........Please share your thoughts.
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old whitemale resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Fridaynight. On Monday, at the Gwinnett County courthouse, Lawrence was chargedwith lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on hisway home from a drinking session when he decided to stop. You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was noone around for miles - or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around"he stated in a telephone interview. Lawrence went on to say that hepulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt wasappropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed tonotice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin." Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you'rehaving sex with a pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and thenhe looked me straight in the face and said..... A pumpkin? F**k me..... is it midnight already??"
Heading out for a few days north of Lake Superior later this week.........Doncha just love pointing the bike in any direction and taking off for a few days? Northern Ontario is a place where you need to always be wary of deer and moose on the road.....God's country. Tried south of Superior a couple years ago and absolutely loved it! Minnesota, Wisconsin and northern Michigan ......all incredible places with wonderful, friendly people. Anybody else taking a few days off to enjoy this incredible world we have been given?
A Horse, A Chicken & A Harley:On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse! Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thingy and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life. The moral of the story?(yep, you betcha, there is a moral!) "When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks"
Newfoundland Ghost Story This happened in a little town, Norris Arm, in Newfoundland, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's absolutelytrue.This guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very darknight in the middle of a terrible rainstorm, and no cars were on the road.The storm was so strong the guy could hardly see a few feet ahead ofhim.Suddenly, he saw a car come toward him and stop. The guy, withoutthinking about it, got in the car and closed the door and only then didhe realize that there was nobody behind the wheel! The car started tomove very slowly. The guy looked at the road and saw a curve coming hisway. Petrified, he started to pray, begging for his life.He had notcome out of shock when, just before the car hit the curve, a handsuddenly appeared through the window and moved the steering wheel..Theguy, now paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared every timethe car was approaching a curve. Finally, although terrified, the guymanaged to open the door and jump out of the spooky car.Without lookingback, the guy ran through the storm all the way to the nearest town.Soaking wet exhausted and in a state of utter shock the pale, visiblyshaken guy, walked into a nearby bar and asked for two shots ofScreech.Then, still trembling with fright, he started telling everybodyin the bar about the horrible experience he just went through with thespooky car with no driver and the mysterious hand that keptappearing.Everyone in the bar listened in silence and becamefrightened, listening to this eerie story, hairs stood on end when theyrealized the guy was telling the truth because he was crying and hedefinitely was not drunk!About half an hour later two guys walked intothe same bar and one said to the other, "Lard Thundern Jasus, me son,there's the arsehole who got into the car while we were pushing it!"
I had amnesia once -- or twice. ***** Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. ***** I am neither for nor against apathy. ***** All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. ***** If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle. ***** What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? ***** They told me I was gullible and I believed them. ***** Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home, and when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway. ****** Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. ***** One nice thing about egotists ... they don't talk about other people. ***** My weight is perfect for my height ... which varies. ***** I used to be indecisive. Now, I'm not sure. ***** The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity. ***** How can there be self-help groups? ***** If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? ***** Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off. ***** Is it just me, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
Just in case you've had a rough day, here's an eight-step stress management technique recommended in the latest psychological texts. The funny thing is that it really works.
1. Picture yourself near a stream. 2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air. 3. No one but you knows your secret place. 4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic world. 5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. 6. The water is crystal clear. 7. You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding underwater. 8. See? You're smiling already.
In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.
As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.
Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Mbembe was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
